вторник, 30 января 2024 г.

 Մայրամուտի արևը
Մայր մտնող արևի բոսորագույն շողերը ողողել էին Արամի արևախանձ դեմքը: Պրկված բազուկները, որ վարժորեն հերկում էին հողը՝ հոգնությունից արդեն ծանրացել ու կախվել էին։ Արամը մի կողմ ձգելով բահը պարզեց կորացած մեջքը ու վերնաշապիկի թևքով սրբեց ճակատին սառած քրտինիքի կաթիլները։ Շունչ քաշելով նա մեջք արեց ըմբոստ քամուն ու հայացքը հառելով մայր մտնող բոսորագուն գնդին՝ ընկավ մտքերի մեջ։


Դրսում  1988 թիվն էր, կյանքը դեռ չէր պատմել իր մասին։ Արամը մի միամիտ պատանի էր, իսկ Արփին էլ անհասանելի արև։
Արփին 16 էր, երբ ծնողների հետ տեղափոխվեց Սպիտակ։ Անվան պես արևոտ աղջիկն այդ փողոցի սերն ու ուշադրությունն էր. մեծից փոքր սիրում էին նրան, սիրում էր և Արամը, հենց առաջին հայացքից։
(շարունակելի)

понедельник, 29 января 2024 г.


Երկերես Պատերազմը


Հայացքով գրկել ու հրաժեշտ էր տալիս…։ Հայրենիքի ու իր արանքում ինքնաթիռի սառը պատուհանն էր։ Ծանրության ու զայրույթի զգացմունքները խառնվել էին իրար։ Չգիտեր, ինքն իրե՞ն է ատում, հայրենի՞քը, թե՞ բախտին։

Ու մարդ ու կին էլի գնում էին բակ՝ կանաչի ծախելու։ Միայն թե, էլ առաջվա կատակախոս կնոջից ու ժպտերես ամուսնուց մնացել էին լոկ իրենց դեմքերը՝ անկյանք ու դատարկ։ Գնորդները չէին էլ համարձակվում նույնիսկ ցավակցել, նախ՝ ուղղակի չէին կարող, համ էլ՝ ցավը շատ մեծ էր կցելու համար։

Երբ մեծանամ պիտի ինժիներ դառնամ, որ ժամանակի մեքենա սարքեմ, ու մարդիկ չծերանան պապ։
-Իմ խելացի տղա, ապրես,- ասաց մայրը՝ հայացքը կտրելով համակարգչից։ Մտքերը
շուտով հավաքեց ու ավարտեց նախադասությունը. « պիտի պայքարել հանուն հայրենիքի, ոչ մի գին թանկ չէ հայրենիքի համար»։


-Հենց մեծանամ, ուզում եմ զինվոր դառնալ, որ սպանեմ էնքան թուրք ինչքան հանարավոր է։ Մայրիկը դառը ժպիտով նայեց մեկ` ութամյա տղային, մեկ էլ՝ պատից կախված ամուսնու նկարին ու ոչինչ չասաց։

Իսկ նա չգիտեր, որ կյանքը կշարունակվի, ու մարդիկ կսկսեն ապրել նորից. որ էդ կյանքում էլի կլինի ամեն բան՝ բացի իրենից. որ կյանքը կշարունակվի այնպես` կարծես ոչինչ էլ չի եղել ։
Միայն թե մենք, ուրվականների պես կթափառենք ապրողների մեջ  մեր ներկայությամբ հիշեցնել տալու մոռացված ցավը, որ հոսում է մեր մեջ, օրից օր, առավոտից մինչ իրիկուն։  Լավ է, նա չի իմանա էդ մասին։Կյանքը աներեսաբար կշարունակվի նորից, բայց, առանց նրա..._Տիկին Անահիտ ձեզ գինի լցնե՞մ:


Պատերազմը համ է, հոտ է, աներևույթ բայց մշտապես օդում կախված մի դառնանհամ զգացում է։ Ուզում ես ուտել, բայց կուլ չի գնում, ուզում ես խոսել կյանքի մասին, բայց խոսակցությունը թեքվում է այլ կողմ, ուզում ես ժպտալ, բայց մի տեսակ դեմքիդ մկանները չեն ենթարկվում քեզ, իսկ երբ ստացվում է մոռացության մի վայրկյանի մեջ խցկել մի ժպիտ, հաջորդ վայրկյանիս այն սառում է դեմքիդ։ Պատերազմի օրերին մեղք է ապրելը, ու էդ մեղքի զգացումով բացվում են մեր աչքերը մինչ փակվելը՝ հուսահատ սպասումից ու հոգնությունից։ (մշակվող-շարունակելի)

 

пятница, 19 января 2024 г.

 

Broken Man

That face as pale as the moon at night striving to share the light through the dark.
Those eyes that look through places and faces so far but see nothing since they are blind from inside.
Hands that used to make someone so warm now are trembling uselessly at autumn.
Legs that lead through the streets side by side are not leading anywhere, such a sad fact.

Piece by piece trying to gather yourself from the ruins you have created yourself.
And it comes a moment when you can not get ruined again as you are made of it, is not it insane?
Days are passing like the shadows at sunset and soon all the bad things you’re going to forget.
Life is a colorful tricky game of one set so play and enjoy it but never dare to regret .

четверг, 18 января 2024 г.

The Heart Shaped Necklace

She was looking into the mirror, at her own reflection, in the middle of the night, trying to remember something important she had forgotten for a while ago.
Absorbed in her thoughts, she did not notice someone entering her room through the window.
She was startled to find her neck in the hands of a stranger, covered with the masque of a dark room.

“Who are you? What do you want?” those were the words she was able to utter.
The stranger did not say a single word; he grabbed the heart shaped necklace from her ivory pale neck and disappeared through the window just as unexpectedly as he appeared.

In a minute, she came to her senses and realized what just happened.
“My necklace, God, what am I going to do now? He won’t understand it.”
Crying her fears out, she slept on the floor huddled like a helpless and hurt animal.

Next morning, the rays of the sun woke her up. Opening her eyes, she immediately felt the pain of a reminisce from the passed night. She covered her eyes, trying to unsee, unfeel what had happened.

"My love, I am home," the voice coming from downstairs returned her to reality. She stood up and in a minute she was already downstairs in the lap of her husband. Kissing and being unable to restrain her tears she was murmuring some words, which he was unable to grasp.
"Calm down my love, and tell me what has happened," he gently got her head in his hands trying to console and encourage with loving and caring eyes he was looking at her.
"I, I, I lost the heart shaped necklace you gave me when doing a proposal. No, no, do not smile, I, I did not lost, I got robbed, last night," from a smile that had change to a serious and frightened face expression, she added, "No, no, I am good, he just grabbed the necklace and disappeared through the window."
"You were robbed, and you did not call the police? Alice, are you sure you are not hurt?"
"Yes Tony, I am, he just appeared through the window unexpectedly and all happened so quick.." unable to continue her thoughts she started crying and shaking. He hugged her and kissing her head, tried to calm her down.
"It is all right now, all is gone, you are safe and I am here with you," said Antony.
Days were passing, all seemed to be returning to its normal range when one day, on the way to a flower shop she met the man whose face she gathered as puzzle from a dark night; it was him, the robber. The man smiled to her and passed by. She was shaking, and was unable even to move. Getting out of the shock, the next minute she picked up her phone and called Antony.
"Tony, I saw him, the robber, he just passed by me, it was him, I am sure."
"Alice where are you? Go home immediately, I am coming," said Antony.
Antony, took Alice to a police station; they told about the incident and then worked on the photo-robot from the scrapes of her memory.

Several days passed before they got a call from the police station.
"Hello Mr. Anderson, we have got news, there is a suspect, we need you to come to the police station."
"Ok, will be there in 30 min," hanging up the phone he turned to Alice," seems they got him, we need to go to the police station, will you manage it?"
Alice looked at Antony with an ice glance and nodded.

"Mrs Anderson do you recognize this man?" asked the police officer.
The man, behind the glass wall was shocked seeing the woman in front of him, who should recognized her.
Alice, with serene and cold blue eyes, detected the man and spoke with a clear and distinct voice, "Yes officer, it is him."
Antony hugged Alice, trying to protect her from an invisible danger.
"Take him," said the police officer.
"What?" screamed the man, "is this a joke Alice? What are you doing?" spoke the man behind the glass.
Antony was stunned, "Alice, he knows your name."
"He robbed me, so it was not hard to know my name as well, don't you think?" spoke Alice in an offended and aggressive tone.
"He was just speaking in a way he knew you," Alice's glance restrained him, "sorry my love, I am just tired and shocked. Let's go home."

It was evening, at the dining table Antony seemed to be carried away in his thoughts, with each bite of the dinner he was biting his own thoughts. Alice was calm, drinking her wine.
"My love," spoke Tony, "I always admired your strength you know?" Alice smiled to him. Antony continued, "Seriously, you were the one to be by my side at my hard times, you were the one to be very supportive during my overwhelming travels where you had to stay home alone. You know, I kind of feel guilty for the incident, I could, and should have been home: If I were home that night, none of that might have happened. I guess it is time for me to focus on the family, I think about quitting my position."
Alice's serene face expression turned into surprise, "What? No Tony, I do not want you to do any kind of sacrifices, everything is fine, and as you can see under control; as you mentioned, I am strong and I can overcome anything".
"Alice," Tony took her hand, "there is nothing important than you." Alice smiled gently, and pulling her hand out of his hands started cleaning the table.
"Tony, my love, you just overreact," said Alice.
The night was silent, too silent, and none of them could blink an eye.
In the morning there was a call. Tony picked up the phone, "Hello officer," listening to the officer, his face expressions turned from stunned to pale and lost,"We will be there."
"Was that the officer? Do we need to go to the police station again?" asked Alice. Rubbing his forehead Tony nodded.
At the police station, officer spoke from the details they managed to get during the examination with the robber." Mrs and Mr Andersons, we got the heart shaped necklace; it was with him," Alice smirked, "We got as well his explanation, which turned to be quite confusing for us," Officer looked at Alice with a lifted eyebrow. "The robber, Mr Jack, told us that he knows you," there was a pause and a moment of awkward, dumb silence. The officer continued, "Do you know him Mrs Anderson? not from the night of a robbery?"
Alice was surprised and serene, "No officer, how would I, I do not know that man, what are you implying to?"
"The thing is," continued the officer, "Mr Jack says vice versa, the necklace per his words was a gift from you."
"What?" Alice screamed and jumped from her place. Antony, was in shock trying to digest the mess he was not able to grasp even.
"Yes Mrs Anderson, and Mr Jack, showed us some photos of yours."
Tony stood up in agony and shock, "What is going on here, what are you talking about, my wife was robbed..."
"Mr Anderson, pls take your seat," officer launched a phone to Antony. Antony scrolled the pictures and turned from pale to blue.
"A, A Al, Alice, wh, what is th this?", he launched the phone to his wife exposing intimate photos of her with the "robber".
Alice took the phone and throwing glance to those photos she turned pale. "It is not me, you are lying, you try to make me look evil and crazy. It is you Tony, yes, you staged this to put the blame of your faults on me. You always envied me, you try to prove yourself to be better than me. No mister, it won't work. I am the one who was taking care for all the stuff when you were away, I even took care of your ill mom when you were on your ordinal trip, I was even on my own when we lost our child," Alice could not stop shouting and crying. Tony was frozen.

Alice was standing in a light room of a psychiatric clinic. She was motionless, looking at her own reflection through the window.
"Hello Alice."
"Hello Doctor," answered Alice calmly without turning her glance away from her own reflection.
"How do you feel today."
"Pretty good, thanks," answered Alice turning to the doctor with a grin on her lips, "as you can see."
"Yes Alice, you do look good," answered the doctor calmly, "Let's sit if you don't mind?"
Alice sat at the sofa near the window. The Doctor took a chair and sat in front of her.
"What do you want to talk about doctor?" smiled Alice.
"You tell me, what you want us to talk about, may be about the necklace that you told me was so precious to you?"
Alice smile turned into a serious face expression, "Yes, it was dear to me, it was a gift from my "beloved husband" during a marriage proposal, it was something special I aimed to gift to my daughter who did not manage to be born." In a second her upset and sad voice gained some ironic capture and she continued, "I gave it later to my traitor-lover, Jack, as the most precious symbol of my love and dreams. Then he managed to leave me, very easily, he just disappeared." her voice started to tremble, "You know, I was about to leave Tony, and Jack knew it. That miserable soul took all I had and left me drained." Alice was walking in thoughts, trying to remember something important.
"How do you think doctor is Tony playing a joke with me keeping me here? You know? I was robbed but he did not believe me, and brought me here. I was so caring and loving but he turned to be so cruel to me." Alice turned to the window and staring at her self-reflection spoke, "I love this necklace, it is a precious symbol of my love and dreams," she was playing with an invisible heart shaped necklace hung on her ivory pale neck.
The doctor closed her notebook, got up and left the room without saying anything.